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Friendlationships
(Part 4: Crazy Love)

Opening Prayer, Confession of Faith & Worship

Big Idea:
Your relationships will mold you and contribute to who you are: however, it is your relationship with Jesus Christ and the impact of His crazy love that will impact and forever change your very soul and spirit.

Summary:
God’s crazy love for us is commonly referred to as “agape” love. The Greek language has three words for love, which enable us to distinguish agape love from passionate devotion (eros) and warm affection (phileo). Agape love is a gracious, determined, and active interest in the true welfare of others, which is not deterred even by responses of hatred, cursing, and abuse, not limited by calculation of results, but based solely on the nature of God. It is crazy because it is love with no boundaries and no end.

There are two important characteristics of agape love. First, crazy love is intentional. God didn’t accidentally send His Son Jesus Christ to die for our sinfulness. No, He intentionally exhibited His agape love to us. “For God so loved the world that He gave.” If you are not purposefully pouring unselfish love into your relationships, then you are not following God’s example of intentional, crazy love. Love that heals our hearts, transforms our homes, betters our marriages, guides our relationships, and saves our souls is intentional love. Second, crazy love is relentless. Love that changes lives and the destiny of souls is unconditional and eternal love. Agape love doesn’t give up because the going gets tough or because it is not immediately received. This is Energizer Bunny kind of love – it keeps going and going. Just like Jesus Christ intentionally and relentlessly came for you and to you, you must also demonstrate His crazy love to others. This is how people are drawn to Christ and away from spirit of this fallen world. This is how lives are changed and nations are won.

Discussion Questions: (read the scriptures & discuss)

1 Corinthians 13:1-13
Discuss how agape love is different from other types of love. How can these qualities of crazy love be demonstrated in our relationships? What makes it hard to show this kind of love? Why is it possible?

John 1:14 & John 3:16
These passages show the intentionality of God’s love. Share how God has shown you His agape love. Discuss how we can follow Christ’s lead and intentionally show love to others. What does that look like?

1 John 4:7-21 & John 14:15-21
What two principle outcomes of God’s love are presented in these passages? How do we know we have received God’s love? How do obedience and love relate to one another?

Taking Action: Have you accepted the crazy unconditional overflowing love of Christ? If not, do it today. Your LifeGroup will pray with you and your life will be changed for all eternity. If you have been changed by this kind of love, then pay it forward by demonstrating crazy agape love to others. Be intentional and be relentless.

Ministry Time

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Friendlationships
(Part 3: The Missing Dimension)

Opening Prayer, Confession of Faith & Worship

Big Idea:
Do you want your relationships to go to a whole new level? Do you desire deep, meaningful, and life-transforming relationships? Then you are looking for the dimension of covenant.    

Summary:
Why do people feel so lonely, disconnected, and empty in a hi-tech world where we seem to be in touch with more people than ever? Maybe it is because much of the world is settling for imitations rather than pursuing real relationships. Meaningful relationships require serious investment and commitment. The Bible reveals that the dimension of a relationship that makes it special is the covenant. A covenant is the commitment to love and be faithful in all things and at all times. A covenant in the Biblical setting was a pledge to death and was cut in blood. Can you imagine being loved so much that someone would pledge himself to die for the security of your well being? Staggering, isn’t it? In His love, Jesus cut a covenant with us and freely gave His life for us. This covenant also serves as an example of the kind of relationships we are to have with other members of God’s family - the church. These relationships should be the richest and most rewarding we have in life. They should be filled with love and compassion, grace and mercy, encouragement and affection.

The friendship between Jonathan, the son of King Saul, and David, the king-to-be, is a stunning picture of taking a relationship to a whole new level of covenant. The story is summarized in 1 Samuel chapters 18 through 20. Let’s look at five qualities of covenant that made their friendship special and that can take your friendships to that new level. (1) Covenant friends are committed to caring for one another. (2) Covenant friends are faithful, loyal, and trustworthy. (3) Covenant friends are committed to the principles of honesty, transparency, and truth. (4) Covenant friends protect and cover one another. (5) Covenant friends encourage and empower one another. The dimension of covenant is essential if we are going to be the kind of “friend” to others that Jesus was to people during his ministry, the kind of friend that Jesus is to us today. Ultimately, it is essential if we are going to win people to faith in Jesus Christ.

Discussion Questions: (read the scriptures & discuss)

1 Samuel 18:1-4 and 1 Samuel 20:41-42
Do you have this kind of covenant relationship with another person? If so, please share how it works and what it means to you. How have you shown covenant friendship to others?

Galatians 6:10 & John 13:35
Have you witnessed or experienced first-hand a difference in friendship between Christ followers that is not present with others? Why does the way Christians treat one another matter? Give examples of how our relationships with believers can be enhanced.

Romans 5:8
How did Jesus demonstrate a covenant relationship toward us? Explain why we can commit to a covenant relationship without the other persons commitment? Discuss the kind of relationships that require the dimension of covenant.  

Taking Action: Read 1 Samuel chapters 18 through 20. Examine your friendships. Are you reflecting the qualities of covenant? By God’s grace, commit to exhibiting the qualities of a covenant friend to those closest to you.

Ministry Time

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Friendlationships
(Part 2: Avoiding Toxic Relationships)

Opening Prayer, Confession of Faith & Worship

Big Idea:
Relationships are a gift from God, but when they go sideways things can become painful and toxic. However, dealing with toxic relationships in our own strength and wisdom will typically almost always make things worse. This is why we need the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the patience and love of Christ, and the grace of God.  

Summary:
Relationship with others is one of the most powerful forces in the universe outside of God. They can bring us indescribable joy or unbelievable despair. They can make us whole or fragment our souls. They hold the potential to coach us into destiny or restrain us from our life’s purpose. When ruled by selfish desires, relationships are the greatest challenge you will encounter in life, but when governed by the Word of God, relationships are a treasured joy in life. The relationships that affect us the most are the ones that are closest to us. When these are toxic, they can have a significant affect on us emotionally and ultimately spiritually.

The world teaches us to think of ourselves as victims when we find ourselves in a toxic relationship and to dismiss those who don’t enhance our lives. However, Jesus taught us to love the unlovely and the unlovable. The way of the kingdom is to draw on God’s grace, take a stand, and speak the truth in love. That means confronting issues, situations, and people who put us in bondage and pain because  God’s Word clearly shows us that people can change and relationships can be redeemed for the glory of God. Here are 5 simple steps to detoxify your relationships: (1) Confrontation. As long as you ignore the situation, it will not change. Own up to your share of the mess and approach your friend in love. (2)  Grab More Grace. Be grounded in your identity as one who is loved by God and be filled with the power of Jesus Christ that has redeemed. (3) Build Righteous Boundaries but don’t let these boundaries be rooted in selfishness. Begin to shape your life by making Godly choices. Do not allow your friends to keep you from doing what’s right. (4) Forgive the Offender. This is not optional. ’t live in a self made prison of unforgiveness because you could not forgive. (5) Give Change a Chance. Don’t abandon a relationship before you’ve made all the changes you need to make.

Discussion Questions: (read the scriptures & discuss)

Luke 6:39-42
What does this statement from Jesus indicate should be our first step in the process of detoxifying a relationship? Is Jesus advocating mean-spirited rebuke of your toxic friends? Discuss ways in which we can lovingly help remove the speck from our brother’s eye. 

Luke 17:3-5 & Matthew 6:14-15
Why do you think the apostles responded the way they did when Jesus told them to forgive over and over again? How does your willingness to forgive affect your relationship with God? Discuss how forgiveness has been instrumental in detoxifying one of your relationships.

Ephesians 4:15 & Romans 15:5
Why is love and patience so important in a relationship? How has someone spoken the truth to you in love? Have you seen relationships end because of a lack of patience? Discuss how can we be patient and loving without being a doormat for abuse? How does the character of Christ encourage us in this area of relationships? 

Taking Action: Examine your toxic relationships, but before you approach your friend, make sure your heart is right and that you have dealt with any of the toxin that you might be bringing into the relationship. Daily ask God to create in you a clean heart and to give you the grace to be patient with others. Pray for your friends and your relationships. Lay them at the feet of God.  

Ministry Time

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Friendlationships
(Part 1: Friends with Benefits)

Opening Prayer, Confession of Faith & Worship

Big Idea:
Friendship is one of the greatest gifts in life. The success or failure of our friendships will be greatly determined by the most important relationship in our lives – our relationship with God.

Summary:
From the beginning of time, man has longed for friendship. Even in the Garden of Eden when Adam walked and talked with God in perfect relationship, the longing for human companionship still existed. Adam’s life was incomplete without the companionship and fellowship of another human being. He craved it. And every human being since then has struggled with the innate craving for human companionship. God created man in His image, knowing that for man to be spiritually, emotionally, and even physically healthy, man needed more than just his relationship with God, he needed relationships with other image bearers. This shows us that our craving for relationship with others doesn’t necessarily diminish our passion for God because God created us this way. We were designed to live in relationship with other people, and when we are deprived of those relationships, we feel empty and incomplete. However, these relationships can only be as healthy as your relationship with God. In fact, relationships become contaminated without God. God created you with a capacity, a craving and the power of choice, but it takes His involvement to keep you from contamination.

There are three primary choices that everybody makes in life which determine the quality, the productivity, and the ultimate destiny of their lives. The first choice is the god that you’re going to worship; the second choice is the person you’re going to marry; and the third choice is the friendships you’re going to keep. Choose wisely - choose friends who model the values you appreciate; choose friends whose influence you welcome in your life; choose friends who welcome your influence in their life; choose friends who are considerate, confidential and candid. Ultimately, our horizontal relationships with others should strengthen and build-up our vertical relationship with God.

Discussion Questions: (read the scriptures & discuss)

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
How have you benefited from friendships? Describe how your relationship with others has made you more effective and useful to God. What role does God play in your close relationships? How does this help the relationship?

Proverbs 12:26 & 1 Corinthians 15:33
How do our relationships affect us? Share how relationships have helped you and how they have hurt you. What do you look for in a friend? Why?

John 15:13-17 & Proverbs 18:24
How did Jesus model true friendship? Have you experienced this type of friendship with others? How can we practically lay our lives down for our friends? How does Jesus say we can show him friendship? How does your vertical relationship with God affect your horizontal relationship with others?

Taking Action: Analyze your current relationships. Are they healthy or are they contaminated? Do they bring life and glory to God? Intentionally bring Christ into your relationships with others. 

Ministry Time